4th of July Fireworks Photos: 2016!

tout-fireworks16

First, it’s with a heavy, magnesium-laden heart I bring some possibly serious news: this might be my final fireworks packaging post!?

Why? Why would this happen? I retire not due to a long-expected running-out of material — every year I think there won’t be anything worth photographing and every year I’m proven wrong — but rather, because of johnny law.

“It’s the Last Year for Personal Fireworks in Vancouver” explains:

This is the last year residents in Vancouver will be allowed to buy and use fireworks – and the last year for less than law abiding Oregonians who cross the Columbia River to purchase fireworks you can’t buy in Portland. Last year, the Vancouver City Council passed an ordinance banning the personal use of any fireworks, including sparklers. They also banned the sale of fireworks in city limits.

Including sparklers!!!

Of course, Portland should still continue to sell the more common, less-lethal fireworks you can get in the grocery store — you know, the fancy fountains, the pop-its, the whistling pete’s.

(A little tip about whistling pete’s: flip ’em upside down and stick ’em in the holes in sewer grates for a good smoke/light show and cool effect-filtered freaky whistle.)

But when it comes to insane, amazing fireworks packaging, nothing beats the big.

It’s not my place to pass judgement on the shriveled up, Raisinet-like hearts of the Vancouver City Council — I know they have their reasons, such as maybe owning dogs, having explosion-sensitive hearing aids, or something about a high chance of fire danger and personal injury to children something something — but I just wanted to let you know…

This could be it. So let’s go.

Here are some photos of firework packaging in 2016.

(If you’d like to enjoy the previous nine (!) years in this rich and ridiculous tradition, here you go: 20072008200920102011 and then 201220132014, and 2015.)

Before We Begin…

Fire up iTunes or Spotify or Tidal or whatever and let’s start a…

IMG_3073

…because this year there was a fresh crop of:

More Exciting Movie Sequels!!

IMG_3043IMG_3046IMG_3055IMG_3125IMG_3089IMG_3135

Increased Chance of a ‘Hamilton’ Firework Next Year

IMG_3110

Zany Animal Hijinx

IMG_3049IMG_3072IMG_3123IMG_3069IMG_3137

The Italian Army

IMG_3048

The First-Ever Font-Based Firework

IMG_3111

A Cool Anime Aesthetic

IMG_3101

Reese’s Roller Coaster Tycoon

IMG_3113

Finally An Answer to That Question, I Guess

IMG_3138

Redundancy

IMG_3120

Mobile Phones

IMG_3126IMG_3052(Wow they’re getting five bars on that nightmare skull tube, that’s good for Sprint!)

Everyone’s Favorite

IMG_3067

Exploding Affirmation

IMG_3083

This 😒😒😒

IMG_3127

More Booze

IMG_3078IMG_3077

Some Now-Legal Recreationals

IMG_3118

And More

IMG_3064IMG_3070IMG_3074IMG_3119IMG_3122IMG_3107

The Most Painful Commentary Almost Certainly Delivered By a Vastly Underpaid Fireworks Packaging Graphic Designer Somewhere in China

IMG_3092

guy.jpg

And Finally… Honesty

IMG_3112

Thank you all for joining me another year.

I hope you have a wonderful 4th of July!

9 thoughts on “4th of July Fireworks Photos: 2016!

  1. I don’t think I’m prepared to endure a world without Cabel’s annual survey of fireworks:(

    (also if you warehoused any Neighbor Hater hmu)

  2. The “Truck Yeah” graphic is what the Chinese unfairly must think of us. That’s only a third of us or so!

  3. I would have bought a dozen “Chicken Blowing Ballon” on name alone!

    Hope you find a way to do this again next year.

  4. Well why doesn’t Vancouver WA just cancel the 4th of July? They made it so you have to be in the park to see them & now no more firework sales?
    WTF?

  5. So firework sales are illegal in the City of Vancouver … But aren’t those giant fireworks stands up in the Hazel Dell / Salmon Creek area that’s just unincorporated Clark county? Or did they annex that since I left for California a few years back?

  6. I thought one year (or more?) you had some videos of you actually lighting some. Surely you must have bought some and filmed the fireballs, explosions and whizbangers?!

Comments are closed.